Why am I here?

A Not-at-all Short or Concise Answer

Well if that question has occurred to you before don't worry. You're probably not having an existential break with reality. Probably.

I'm only half joking about that probably by the way. 

You see I asked myself that question at a moment of deep psychological, emotional and physical pain when I considered myself to have become a complete failure; shortly before making an attempt on my own life.

Quite obviously I didn't succeed. The irony here is not lost on me now nor was it then. Conjure to your mind if you will the rather absurd and tragic image of a twenty something man rather average looking, three days into not touching a razor and the Lord only knows how long since he and the shower made an acquaintance; starring in disbelief at the tie-become-noose at his feet, suddenly exclaiming 'Well f***ing obviously that's how it would go' before edging out with the first beginnings of a smirk.

That would you believe it was how low I! Yes the great Me! had sunk but even then my own peculiar brand of gallows humour pulled me through. 

(no that was not intentional but I'm keeping it in)

I've not told you this to gather sympathy however but to simply explain how seriously I was forced to contemplate this issue, and it was this contemplation that would lead me to quite the revelation.

Nobody knew.

That is to say nobody knew why I was here. If you looked at me I truly was a directionless mess. So over the last few years I - have with the help of some of my dearest friends and family - picked myself back up again and begun searching for that answer. Not now simply through the selfish lens of why am I here? But instead why are We here?

By nature I'm a historian, so to find that answer the very simple adage 'to understand where we are we must first understand where we have been' came to mind.

But where to start? What point in the past should I use as my beginning? The beginning? I don't have the scientific or theological knowledge for that, perhaps the 20th century then? after all we all live within its fallout. Some of us quite literally. But no. No. That way simply led to a rehashing of that all too familiar historical tread of WWI, WWII, Cold War, 9/11, Now. 

(Earth World, Grass World, Ice World, Fire World, Boss da dum da dum da dum da dum da dum)

So perhaps then history was the wrong lens? Not impossible.

Well they also say: 'to learn what it is you most need to know look where you least want to look'.

Bugger.

Damn.

Please God no.

Not.

ECONOMICS!

Well not quite. I realised that within the study of economics lay Marx - as in Karl Marx - and his ideas have most certainly been very influential on our modern world.

And so with a great sigh of relief I realised that by the grace of God I would not have to labour solely on the study of economics but perhaps more broadly the social sciences, politics, philosophy and history.

For all these things are touched on by Marx in some manner or have serious ramifications on those subjects.

Alas then I have not yet discovered the answer to that age old question but I do know why I am here. To put it simply - To find out why. I've started with trying to understand the world as Marx and his contemporaries saw it and You oh dear reader have been extended an invitation to join me on this voyage of discovery! Wherever it may take us.

There be meaning over that horizon!

Some House Keeping

So if you've made it this far I'm going to assume you've accepted my invitation. With that in mind there are a few things you'll need to know moving forward.

My posting schedule is once a month on either the 1st or 2nd of the month not frequently exceeding 2000 words with a brief video summary itself rarely exceeding 6 minuets.

This is because although I thoroughly enjoy writing, reading and creating content unfortunately I have to hold down a day job to pay the bills. However I have made a promise to both myself and you that on the 1st and 2nd of each month regardless of when content has been posted I will be active in the comments section. But feel free to post feedback and criticism anytime!

Christmas, New Years and Easter are family occasions and so for the months of December, January and April I will be on a posting break. Because I'm secretly a great big softy like that.

My first piece on Marx's theory of surplus value and capital accumulation in conjunction with Adam Smiths view of labour and capital will be published next month. Hopefully along with the first video summary but that is a new arena for me so we might hit a bump in the road there.

(Don't worry the titles a work in progress)

I may also touch on philosophical clashes between Enlightenment political ideals in the form of the American Founding Fathers and Marx, Engels et al by briefly discussing The Communist Manifesto and The Constitution of The United States.

The sources I've decided on for this piece are as follows:

1. K.Marx and F.Engels, The Communist Manifesto, Penguin Classics, London, 2015

2. The Founding Fathers, The Constitution of The United States, Penguin Classics, London, 2017

3. K.Marx, Capital:Volume 1, Penguin Classics, London, 1990

4. A.Smith, Wealth of Nations, Oxford University Press, Oxford, 2008

5. K. Daley, Natives: Race & Class in the Ruins of Empire, Two Roads, London, 2018

6. A.Solzhenitsyn, Warning to the West, Vintage Classics, London, 2019

And with that I believe I'm done and dusted with the blog this evening. I've got an awful lot of reading to do now, so best of luck to you all and I'll hopefully be hearing from you soon!

- B.I.S